Are You Mothering or Smothering Your Curls?
If your curls were your children, how would you describe your parenting style? Are you mothering or smothering? Checkout the indicators we've collected below and draw a conclusion!
Our curls and scalp need consistent TLC! Because let's face it, something that is dead (your curls) can't take care of themselves! In the effort to achieve healthy curls or waves you may study ingredients, try different styling routines, or try new products! But at what point does it become unhealthy and unhelpful? Let's examine.
How To Mother Your Curls
If you are mothering your curls, then the focus is caring for your curls in their current state. Mothering your curls requires a high degree of self-awareness when trying new products or working through your weekly routine. What do you hear? See? Feel? If you use your senses to try to see what's working and what's not... believe it or not, your curls will speak to you! You just have to be present and patient enough to listen.
Indicators That You're Mothering Your Curls:
Proper Grace & Pace
Rome wasn't built overnight, and neither is your best curl routine! A routine starts with acknowledging your (1) main curl concerns, (2)what contributes to those concerns, and finally (3) what products, processes or preservation techniques are contributing to your concerns. Once you have this benchmark, you can begin to record the differences you noticed when you are mixing products, process, and preservation.
Weekly Maintenance
This is where the rubber meets the road, my curly friend! Who wouldn't want 7 to 8 days of defined curls without a refresh? It's a curlies dream!! But oftentimes, not reality. The reality of curly hair is that it requires moisture, it's very delicate, and it's highly influenced by the environment that surrounds it. That said, make sure you have a WEEKLY maintenance regimen that incorporates moisture to keep the elasticity of the curl. Additionally, leverage styling products that have light oils that aid in lubricating the curls to smooth the shafts and minimize frizz.
Minimizing Product / Brand Variety
A mother of curls understands that caring for curls takes investigative work and is often a process of elimination when it comes to what products actually work. Understanding how different product types, from different brands interact with each other is critical to the proper care of your curls. Over time, if the products are unfriendly with each other, it can lead to build up, irritation, breakage, and diminished results.
What Smothering Your Curls Looks Like
If you are smothering your curls, then oftentimes you are seeking to control your curls, rather than properly care for them. This is often motivated by one thing... Fear. Fear that your curls won't "look" right, fear that your hair won't grow, fear of missing out on the next best thing, or a fear of not being perceived as beautiful. Really, the list could go on and on. This curl parenting approach gives your curls too much attention, in the wrong way.
Indicators You're Smothering Your Curls:
You have many tools for curl manipulation
If your bathroom or hallway closet is reminiscent of a beauty supply store, then my curly friend you would be considered a smotherer of curls. Brushes, combs, clips, ponytail holders, heat tools, and various products with repetitive use can contribute to the damage of your curls. If every time you go to touch your curls and you see breakage or consistent shedding, this could be a sign that your curls require less manipulation. As manipulation leads to friction, which can lead to frizz and breakage
Rush & Control
If you find yourself obsessed with "quick-fix" remedies or buying products that claim to eliminate important steps, you could be doing more damage than good to your curls and/or waves. Not allowing yourself allotted time to get familiar with your curls, leads to sporadic actions and emotional decisions and purchases.
Using too many brands and products at once
Doing too much, too soon may cause you to feel empowered, but rarely does it lead to true results. In fact, mixing products and brands, if they don't share the same base, is likely to create more frustration and disappointment. If you don't break this cycle, it is easy to believe there's something wrong with your hair, instead of the products you use. To avoid this, we've formulated our water-soluble, Curly Girl Method Friendly, 360 Curl Collection to work together with each other, no matter how you layer products to define and moisturize your curls.
Do you find you’re mothering or smothering your curls? Share in the comments!
Our TréLuxe Team Shares Curl Lessons From Their Moms
Our moms do a lot for us and teach us so much. So, in honor of Mother’s Day, we asked our TréLuxe Team to share what their moms have taught them about their curls and how that’s shaped how they view and care for their hair today.
Here’s what our team had to share:
Cortney Sigilai- Co-Founder & Creative Director
- Always protect your hair at night so that the style preserves, you minimize moisture loss, and breakage. So every night I wore a red or blue cloth bandana. I've upgraded to a satin pillowcase since then!
- Keep your hands out of your head! In an effort to grow my hair, I was always always doing something to it. My mom taught me the more you mess with it, the more likely it is to break.
Cheryl - Logistics Coordinator
To the benefit of my younger sister, our Mom practiced on my hair.😞 This is what I learned and practice to this day:
- Reach out to those with knowledge of your specific hair type.
- Don't stress your hair with tight pony-tails.
- Clean, Condition, air-dry, and repeat.
- Stay away from chemicals and limit your time with flat irons.
- If you are tired, pick a different day to care for your hair.
Josannah - Marketing Editor
Here are two lessons I learned from my mom:
- Curly hair is different from straight hair and should not be cleansed as often.
- Curly hair is unique and beautiful, so be proud of your curls!
Shana - Social Media Coordinator
I didn't learn a lot on how to care for my curls because my hair was permed all through childhood. However, some things that I can remember are:
- Start from the bottom when detangling your hair with a comb
- Refrain from wearing your ponytails too tight so you don't pull out your edges
- Once you see new growth it is time to retouch your perm; every 3 months
- Mix red with black (when dying your hair black) if your hair is blonde so that it doesn't turn green ( I learned this as I got older and colored my hair all the time)
The only lessons that I use to this day are 1 & 4. I've taught my mom about curly hair care once I learned, so everything I know about my curls is from what I taught myself.
Alex - Marketing Specialist
Two lessons I learned from my mom:
- Your hair can have such an impact on how you feel - I didn’t realize just how true this is until I was a little older. Doing my hair always sets my day up to be better and makes me feel better regardless of what I might have going on at the moment.
- Embrace the frizz - Growing up, my hair was a lot frizzier and fluffier than that of my friends and I hated it. My mom was the one to really instill not caring and not comparing in me.
Kinise - Executive Assistant
My mom taught me these rules growing up and I still follow them.
- Always wrap your hair up before bed with either a silk scarf or bonnet because it protects your hair from breakage.
- Get your split ends cut 1-2 times a year to help prevent damage.
We love hearing how moms have impacted our team’s curl journey in some form, and we want to hear from you too. Share the lessons you’ve learned about your curls from your mom or mom-like figure in the comments!
Still need a gift for mom? Give her the gift of healthy, defined, and moisturized curls/waves with a TréLuxe gift card!
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