Your Hair Stinks Because Your Thinking is Garbage

Try This: Open up another tab on your browser and do a quick google image search for “ ugly hair”. Besides the extremely horrid haircuts, what else do you notice? Hair lengths, types, etc. Now, perform the same search, but this time type “pretty hair”. What do you notice in the results that were returned to you in less than a millisecond, did you see any images that looked like your curls? Now, I understand that pretty and ugly are extremes, so try searching for ‘curly hair’ or ‘pretty curly hair’ or ‘ugly curly hair’... How are the results now?

Find anything that looks “more” like your curls? It’s most likely that you didn't. Why? It’s because Google is performing a command (at your fingertips) using a search algorithm that is based on rankings, broad categories, and indexes. While Google does a great job at retrieving information super-freaky fast, you still have to decide what informs you and its relevance. Unfortunately, we don’t see the results of our efforts as fast as Google returns information — yet the ‘right now’ culture we live in pushes us to get results right now.

Far too often, we fall down the online rabbit hole of comparing other curlies’ beautiful results to our latest fails. The perfectly defined, make-ya-say wow! Tresses of a gorgeous influencer on IG or of a model with a team of stylists are not meant to define our relevance or beauty. Staying stuck in the endless comparison trap equals stinky thinking. This negative mindset leads to a vicious cycle of self-hate, chasing something that's not there, curl despair, and an abhorrent amount of products that collect dust, reminding you of false hopes and wasted money. Let’s stop the unhealthy cycle, shall we?

Unplugging hits the number one spot of the detox list, because without a foundational reset, anything you attempt to build on top of it will be tainted. You’ll sabotage your efforts before you even begin! Make the decision to take a 2-4 week fast from pages, places, and faces that may in/directly sway you from thinking positively about YOUR curls and your ability to properly care for them. A little hint: The sites that seem to draw you in for hours, when it only felt like minutes are the ones you want to detox from.

Unplugging provides you with the opportunity to have new and different thoughts introduced! This is critical when rebuilding the way you think about your hair. 

Self-assess: 

• What thoughts am I no longer thinking or recycling now that I’ve disconnected? 

• Have my feelings about my hair changed? If so, how?
  

 

2. Get Naked 😘 — Remove the layers to see, touch, and connect with your curls.

 

Getting naked means stripping your hair from styling products, finishing products, holding sprays, conditioners, and curl manipulators. Oftentimes, what we think may be enhancing our curls, could actually be hindering us from embracing our true beauty. Getting to the ‘bare bones’ of your curly strands allows you to see fully what your natural curls look, feel, and smell like (Use all the senses that make sense to use!). After cleansing your hair with a clarifying shampoo and while your hair is still wet take note of what you see. Write down how your hair twists or bends, lays flat or flys high. Then, apply a leave-in conditioner. But, when you apply it choose just a small section; working the leave-in conditioner in to see how your curls respond. 

Self-assess: 

• What did I notice about my naked curls? Try for 3-4 observations.
   
• What feelings arise when viewing your naked curls?
  
  

 3. Take Inventory — Purge your hair care products and tools.

 

If you’ve been fighting to love your curls or find that “perfect” routine that works for you chances are you have a mini convenience store in your bathroom or hallway closet — filled with conditioners, stylers, brushes, combs, ploppers, curl drain stoppers, and magic wands! You've got so much stuff that your collected convenience store has become everything BUT convenient. It’s time to move out the old and maybe even the the new to limit your collection to what actually works. 

Define what “works” for your curls with each category of products (cleanse, condition, style, refresh, moisturize). This is as simple as asking, what do I want to happen to my hair when using this type of product and why? Answering the why is going to be really important in helping you decide if what you are looking for is truly realistic or achievable. Then, create 3 piles for your products — Keep, Try, and Goodbye! 

• Keep - Used at least 3 times and have been able to replicate what you would consider success. 
• Try - Products that you’ve tried only once and/or have had for less than 4 months. 
• Goodbye - Products you’ve had longer than 4 months, literally collecting dust, and/or haven’t worked.
  
  

4. Track Your Progress —  Journal the products you use and the techniques you apply.

 

Tracking your progress is going to move your beliefs about your hair from fiction to fact! Facts that you can actually rely on. Facts that will help keep your expectations realistic and keep you positively motivated. Avoid introducing too many products at once and give yourself enough time to see results. Tracking your progress for 4-6 weeks should be enough time to start wisely placing products and tools in the appropriate piles that were previously mentioned.

5. Take Charge —  Write Your Own Curl Narrative!  

 

Lean in for this one — you are not a damsel in distress, you are not helpless or lost. If you’ve felt this way it's possible that you tried to excuse yourself from taking responsibility for the undesired outcomes and the process! Owning the narrative starts with recognizing any excuses you’ve made for yourself and placing those in the ‘goodbye’ pile, along with the other items that never served you.

Getting your thoughts on paper will be so helpful. Write out your current thoughts and feelings that weigh you and your curls down. This simple exercise will make mental room for the new narrative. A narrative that will now be built on facts, process, and tracking progress for weeks. Gather all of your learnings to create a personal Curl Manifesto! A manifesto that reminds you of your aim, intentions, and healthy desire for a better relationship with your hair.

6. Share with a Trusted Community — Others can learn from your failures and wins.

 

This is truly a critical step in changing your narrative and the way you perceive your beauty. Here, you are being intentional about sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly so you can see that your goods are great, your bads are learning, and the ugly is completely normal! This level of support requires a trusted community of curlies that mirror your concerns and you can identify with. A place where you can be vulnerable, ask questions, share progress and in doing so you’re helping others as well! We’ve got a community for that!

7. Repeat Steps 4-6 — You’ll continue to strengthen the foundation and build good stuff! 

 

With life changes comes curl changes! Whether it's welcoming a new addition, venturing into menopause, fighting cancer, or dealing with the daily stresses of adulting, being able to navigate it all requires recognizing what works to replicate success, creating an empowering narrative, and sharing it with others!

I’m Ready To Enjoy My Curls 

-TréLuxe Co-Founder- Cortney Sigilai